According to Yahoo! News, "[EL CERRITO, Calif.] A man was arrested on suspicion of carrying a concealed weapon after police found him outdoors — naked — and he told them he had a tool in his rectum..."

Apparently, the man had been pleasuring himself on top of a tree stump (of all places) in a nature path. "John Sheehan, 33, of Pittsburg, was initially arrested on suspicion of indecent exposure," Yahoo! continued. That's right: a naked man was pleasuring himself plain as day, and they arrest him on suspicion of indecent exposure.

To make matters worse, when confronted by the police about the possibility of carrying a concealed weapon (which I thought was an oddity in and of itself), Sheehan revealed a six inch awl wrapped in black electrical tape stuck up his you-know-where. An awl, according to Wikipedia.com, may refer to two things:  a tool with a long pointed spike used for marking wood (a scratch awl), or a tool used by leatherworkers, such as cobblers (shoemakers), to pierce holes in leather (stitching awl).

For the complete titillating news, visit http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/armed_and_naked